overcitiesflowerswillgrow: Sunflower against blue sky with clouds. The flower is yellow and a bit red. (Default)
2015-06-13 11:20 pm
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Dear friend,

Pride today was both wonderful and challenging. I'm trying really hard not to let the actions of one person color how I feel about the day, but it's difficult.

The good? Parade was nice, lots of happy queers, made a new friend, had a nice spot in the shade from which to enjoy the festivities.

The bad? An ally friend dressed as a giant cock and joked that even the lesbians wanted a little cock today. WHICH NO THEY DO NOT. Especially not today. Pride is 100% not the day they want your transphobic, lesbophobic, rape culture reinforcing joke dripping with heteronormativity. Let's just break it down, shall we?

Transphobic in that it erases women who do have cocks. It reinforces that the definition of woman is what we have between our legs. That trans women aren't real women and can't be lesbians and shouldn't be counted. All of which reinforces violence and othering of trans women.

Lesbophobic and rape culture reinforcing because who hasn't heard a gross man saying that all a lesbian needs is the right cock. That if she just gets pounded in the right way she'll turn straight. And holy wow do women get raped and assaulted because of it. Corrective rape is a thing, and it's awful and we shouldn't say even jokingly that if a lesbian just meets the right dick she'll go straight.

Pride is supposed to be the one day a year when heteronormativity takes a back seat. It's supposed to be the day every year when we don't have to listen to jokes about how we're wrong about our sexuality. This is the day we're supposed to be free of the straights. If you wanna come to pride, great. I'm not going to stop you. But please shut the fuck up, back off and stop taking up room. You have the whole rest of the world and the whole rest of the year to be you and take up as much space as you want. Please don't crash our party by being rude and loud.
overcitiesflowerswillgrow: Sunflower against blue sky with clouds. The flower is yellow and a bit red. (Default)
2015-06-12 12:38 pm
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(no subject)

Dear Friend,

One of the things lost in the land of Tumblr is the sense of community. I think it is a particularly appealing setting for most people. You get the sense that you can hop into any conversation, partake in whatever is going on. But you begin to see that the model is inherently disconnected. Rather than having spaces with unique and individual personalities, you have one dashboard. There's no room for a particular social convention. Many people have started asking that certain types of people NOT reblog something from them, which is all well and good until someone reblogs without that request in the tags. And boom - that post is out there for anyone. Things that feel relatively safe and private are in fact merely undiscovered.

I do like the idea that people ought to respect what other people ask for. It's a benefit to everyone if we can have kind and good people rather than relying on technological solutions. I love that people feel entitled to respect.

I just miss communities and the gathering space they created. I miss threaded discussions. A tag group just isn't the same.